It been a while since I last posted I've been busy. I've been catching up on some posts I lived with my manipulative and verbally abusive mother for 35 plus years no one wanted to explain to me what was wrong and I did not know what was wrong or how to ask.
the internet came into being and i could carry out my own research without anyone knowing. BINGO after a few weeks I found Personality Disorders and it fitted like a glove BPD, now my GP agreed this is what she also thought (not sure if she broke her code by agreeing, but it was me who had a name)
What did I find out well PD's are not classed as a mental illness but are Axis-2 developmental disorders. Psychiatry works with Axis-1 mental illness, some psychiatrists will tell you they think they are MI anyway its very complex.
The one thing that is very clear there are over 3,000,000 in the UK who may have a PD, since 2003 services have began across the UK but sadly things have not went as hoped and they are only catered for properly in a few area's GP's are still reluctant to become involved. The official stats are 1 in 20 and 70% of the prison population.
Sadly few come forward but there are people who have been taught to spot their own triggers and deal with them as needed like taking care of yourself if you are diabetic.
Not all cases of abuse will fall into this difficult area but many will DENIAL along with projection, black & white thinking, manipulation & gaslighting are what you may experience if your close to that person
People with these types of disorder can use defense mechanisms such as :
Defense Mechanisms
1. Denial
Denial is the refusal to accept reality or fact, acting as if a painful event, thought or feeling did not exist. It is considered one of the most primitive of the defense mechanisms because it is characteristic of early childhood development. Many people use denial in their everyday lives to avoid dealing with painful feelings or areas of their life they don’t wish to admit. For instance, a person who is a functioning alcoholic will often simply deny they have a drinking problem, pointing to how well they function in their job and relationships.
2. Acting-Out
Acting Out is performing an extreme behavior in order to express thoughts or feelings the person feels incapable of otherwise expressing. Instead of saying, “I’m angry with you,” a person who acts out may instead throw a book at the person, or punch a hole through a wall. When a person acts out, it can act as a pressure release, and often helps the individual feel calmer and peaceful once again. For instance, a child’s temper tantrum is a form of acting out when he or she doesn’t get his or her way with a parent. Self-injury may also be a form of acting-out, expressing in physical pain what one cannot stand to feel emotionally.
3. Dissociation
Dissociation is when a person loses track of time and/or person, and instead finds another representation of their self in order to continue in the moment. A person who dissociates often loses track of time or themselves and their usual thought processes and memories. People who have a history of any kind of childhood abuse often suffer from some form of dissociation. In extreme cases, dissociation can lead to a person believing they have multiple selves (“multiple personality disorder”). People who use dissociation often have a disconnected view of themselves in their world. Time and their own self-image may not flow continuously, as it does for most people. In this manner, a person who dissociates can “disconnect” from the real world for a time, and live in a different world that is not cluttered with thoughts, feelings or memories that are unbearable.
5. Projection
Projection is the mis-attribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them. For example, a spouse may be angry at their significant other for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen. Projection is often the result of a lack of insight and acknowledgement of one’s own motivations and feelings.
Borderlines are also good at :
Gas-lighting :- Gas-lighting is a form of psychological manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity.
Splitting- is a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD) I was unfamiliar with until recently despite having been diagnosed in 2015. Splitting is a coping defense mechanism people with BPD use to avoid rejection or being hurt. It means that someone is either good or they are bad.
Hope this is of interest
the forums i mentioned are 1)
www.bpdcentral.com 2)
www.BPDFamily.com 3) OUT OF THE FOG (fear obligation & guilt)
May We All Heal
Mitchell
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