I also had a very bad and problematic life with my mother. I am sorry if my english is not that perfect, Im Italian!
Everything started when I was a baby, and she could not breastfeed me because she had no milk, she used to leave me in dark rooms to protect me, people of my familiy could not visit me. The problm in my adult life started when she started trying overpowering over my life, deciding when and what I could do, disturbing my relationships with friends and guys, I was 17 years old. She used to say that all my friends were bad influences, that I had no hobby, that I should go to therapy, in the school was the hell for me... She was always telling me that she would pay me school anymore because I didnt apreciate anything she did. I never got drugs, i never decided for a misscarriage, also never got pregnant, I never was a girl with a log of guys, big part of my life i stayed in relationships. I left home after 23 years old, i moved to another city, after 5 years of mutual violence. We couldnt simply talk to each other, was always episodes with bursted ends, marks and an enormous psicologic pain. After 23 yeras old i decided to leave this house that for me was a representation of pain and this woman that made me suffer so much... she was racistic, used to say that she doesnt like black people and the all that I did was a ´´black service´´, i feel sorry for her. She also used to say that I was stupid, incapable, ugly, that I should wear braces and trate my skin when I got acne. When I was young, she used to say that i couldnt lay down with her in bed because I was dirty, and she put a mat over the floor, then we could watch dvds together, in the same room.
After I lost my job, i asked if i could live once again with ther until I find another job, she accept for one week, after that, she changed her locker and putted all my things out of the door. She left many times with no food, no money, and she used to lock her food in her room, one time i got a slice of mortadela and she got angray that I could not eat her food, she counted the slices.
After many years, i decided moved to another country, and one day ago, I decided to cut definitely contact after so much pain and lack of respect in emails and etc.. since 4 years i dont see her and in this years our comunications via whatsapp was an horror.
After many years of guilt and problematic relacionthiip, i decided to visited the country where we lived most our lives, Brazil, and she made my life a hell when I said I was going there.
Such emails because i didnt reply an email after 24 hours ( because I have a life)
You do not give news.
Does not communicate.
Send telegram from my address. Hide your address.
It's killing me with grief, despair. I'm here alone, with no one to ask for help.
Not knowing what's going on around.
It is very disrespectful.
It will kill me from the heart of anguish, of worry.
I can't register your number.
Don't worry about knowing what's going on here.
I have no health to deal with it anymore.
He says my phone doesn't answer, but he doesn't answer anything.
I will die of anguish.
There is no return.
And there another one!
Wow ..... one person spoils another's trip by asking for news
?? But .... Just for that
?? Weird huh.
I have health problems here, you as always, do not even remember you have a mother. Remember when you need something.
Remember for interest only.
Patience. Tomorrow is another day.
Raise your head to look to the side.
Your selfishness is 100%.
Your lack of empathy is 100%.
If you were in need of something, the treatment would be quite different. Then you put yourself in pride. I can't enter your number through watzap. I need help, not a sermon. Put yourself in your place. Respect the elders. I'm not your rag you dust off.
You played pretty at my expense, now you get into that ridiculous role. Beware of your attitudes and words, as life charges.
Good trip.
She feels pride of herself because she did me small financial favours when I needed and acoording her, i only need her for interest. She never bought me a house, she never payed my studies, she never bought me a car, she did little things and I had to hear my whole life the same thing.
In fact, there were many other moments that I needed mental support, and most of my life, she was never there!
She stayed in a abusive, violent relationship, and when I asked herm why, ( I was 10 years old), she then, sayed I was jealous of her boyfriend!
I decided to stop the contact for real, and for my mental health, also with my whole family, once those people, i also have no contact at all.
I need help to go further and this this forum can helps how to go ahead!
I have no father, she died when I was 10!
Nowadays I am 34
Samantha aus Germany!