Author Topic: Guilt  (Read 2362 times)

Astra Argent

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My Horrid Aunt
« on: November 27, 2017, 03:22:58 pm »
I had a Horrid Mother and my father was emotionally absent from both the marriage and his relationship with me, but following their deaths, my healing is now being challenged by a Horrid Aunt.

She's my father's only surviving sister-in-law and has always been difficult to deal with.  Neither of my parents could stand her.  She can twist whatever you say to her and lives in her own world where her own rules apply.  She can use an ordinary conversation to attack you, your beliefs, how you live your life, etc.  She is superior, condescending and thinks she knows everything about everything.

I asked for some more social contact and support last year (we've never been close and she's never encouraged me to call on or contact her) and after a family pow-wow and in which I was not allowed to take part, she told me it had been decided none of them wanted to be involved with me and told me to find myself a support worker.  I was upset, but wasn't surprised by the decision.  I presumed that would be that and I'd never have to worry about her again.  How wrong I was.  A couple of times since we've passed on the street and she's spoken to me as if everything's normal.  That I cannot understand or cope with.  The first time she said "Just because we're not interested in you doesn't mean we can't speak."  That floored me.

Unfortunately, moving away isn't an option, so I need to be able to cope with the possibility of coming across her in the street.  The last time that happened, she passed comment on the weather as if we had a normal relationship and it hit me for six.  My cousins are very much on her side.

I'm very lucky to have friends who care, but the possibility of seeing her upsets me.  How do I cope with this?